Gas Station Caper Gone Awry: Man Arrested After Failed Door Grab, Claims He’s “New to Having a Brain”
In what might go down as one of the most unusual burglary attempts of the week, Marion County Sheriff’s Office responded to a call at a local Exxon station involving a man, a car door, and a questionable explanation.
At approximately 9:15 a.m. on September 23, a woman exited the gas station at 14725 US Hwy 441 after making her purchase. Her morning took an unexpected turn when she noticed an elderly man, later identified as 63-year-old Robert Howie, loitering by her vehicle. In what can only be described as a scene from a low-budget heist movie, Howie tried to open the front passenger door after she quickly locked it.
Security footage from the store confirmed Howie’s ill-fated attempt at vehicular entry, as he lurked by the icebox before deciding to make his move. The woman safely inside, Howie walked to the rear of the car and made one last attempt at door-handle destiny, only to retreat in defeat.
It wasn’t long before Corporal B. Bowman caught up with Howie a short distance away, wearing the same black shirt with white lettering that both the victim and security cameras had described. After a quick reading of his Miranda rights, Howie attempted to explain away his actions, claiming that he thought someone had honked at him. His logic? Open the nearest random car door to see if they needed anything.
When informed that this wasn’t typically how humans respond to car horns, Howie admitted to struggling with both alcohol and methamphetamine. He further confessed that he was “new to having a brain,” a statement that certainly raised more questions than it answered.
Despite his creative defense, Howie was arrested on charges of attempted burglary of an occupied conveyance and loitering/prowling. He was later transported to the Marion County Jail, where presumably, no one will be honking for him to open any more doors.
