Shirtless Shenanigans: Man Tasered Over $9 Wallet at Family Dollar
In a tale fit for the bargain bin, a $9 Mossy Oak men’s wallet led to high drama at the local Family Dollar on October 5. According to the Marion County Sheriff’s Office, Jeremy Woods decided to make a fashion statement of his own – shirtless and short on cash – when he allegedly pocketed the brown wallet before taking a quick detour to the restroom.
The store manager spotted Woods on camera pulling his disappearing act in the store’s southeast corner, only to reemerge empty-handed but not empty-pocketed. After setting off the store’s loss prevention alarm, Woods exited the store, hopping into a bright blue Dodge Journey. The Family Dollar manager, however, wasn’t about to let this retail rodeo end there.
Deputy Artman tracked down Woods and his crew to a nearby home, where the shirtless suspect attempted to strut his way out of an arrest. After some creative dodging and evading, Woods tried to give the deputy the slip. Cue the taser. Twice.
Despite the shocks to his system, Woods still insisted he didn’t take anything, then claimed he left the wallet in the bathroom, only to have it magically turn up later in the vehicle’s trunk where he’d been sitting.
Woods now faces charges of petit theft and resisting arrest, all for a wallet that wasn’t even worth a full Hamilton. Moral of the story? It’s going to take a lot more than $9 to cover the cost of his bail.
